I haven’t written a lot in recent weeks, mainly because I’m just tired and the words just haven’t been there. Unlike so many others I know, blogging just doesn’t come naturally to me. I’ve never been good at talking about myself or what’s going on in my life. And although it’s always been easier for me to write it all out – even that’s been difficult lately. But I’m working on that – among other things.

I did want to stop in though and share what’s been going on in the world of parenting lately. We are now the proud parents of an always on-the-move toddler! Landon is so much fun right now – seems like he’s learned something new every time I walk in the door after a day at work. I’m so thankful Carrie’s able to stay at home with him during the day – she is such an amazing mom and teacher.

Right now, Landon’s at that stage where he’s wanting a little independence – and testing our limits at the same time. There’s several things around the house he knows he’s not supposed to do – like play in the dogs water bowls, touch the entertainment center and throw food to the dogs. We’ve learned that we’ve got to pick our battles – especially at this age when he’s just being a little boy, discovering things for the first time. But these are a few battles we’ve decided to take on. Discipline is a tough thing, but consistency in discipline is even tougher.

At 16 months, it’s tough to know how to discipline Landon, but for us, it’s a makeshift time out. We make him sit on the floor, we hold his hands and make him sit still for 1 minute. Then we talk about what he did and why it was wrong, give him a hug and tell him we love him. Last night, he kept throwing his food, so we had to do it 5 times in a row – but I think he’s slowly starting to understand.

Most parents have some form of discipline, but very few are consistent over time. It’s hard – really hard, but it is the only way. I’m thankful Carrie and I had great models of this growing up. Now as a parents ourselves, we realize how difficult it is, but how critical it is to teaching Landon obedience, respect and love. It’s funny how the farther down the parenting road we go, the more we understand the immensity of God’s patience and love for us.

What are some tough things you face(d) as a parent?

I’ve been introduced to some great stuff because of John Saddington and the boys at 8BIT. John posted a link to this video from Chick-fil-A. It’s simple, yet the message is brilliant, thought provoking and an instant conviction to me, personally. I try to be very transparent in this blog of mine and I’d be lying if I said I don’t struggle to love other people. So often I don’t stop and take note of the world around me. I’m so wrapped up in my own world and my own struggles that I fail to see the stories all around me. Chick-fil-A gets it – if only I could.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted something, mainly because I just haven’t felt like posting anything – some days I just don’t have any words. I admire those of you that can post stuff on a daily basis – that’s just not me. When I do post, I tend to lay it all on the line – otherwise, it’s just not worth the attempt.

I don’t know what it is, but honestly, I’ve just been in a funk lately – spiritually, emotionally and physically. For whatever reason, I’ve always struggled with these times in my life. And unfortunately, it always takes something out of the ordinary to wake me up. That something this time around was a girl running a red light and t-boning our SUV this past Friday. Thankfully, Landon wasn’t with us at the time and Carrie and I walked away with just whiplash and some minor cuts & bruises – our car was not as fortunate.

I’m still a little shocked at everything that happened and I keep playing it over and over in my head. There’s nothing I could have done differently to avoid it – it just happened. I believe everything happens for a reason, there are no accidents or coincidences. I’m just so thankful for God’s protection over us – had we been in a smaller car, Carrie would have been seriously injured.

I’m still processing and working through some of these things this week – both the personal stuff and also the financial end of things and all the “fun” that an accident like this entails. I just wanted to update the blog with what’s been going on. Thanks for your prayers and support this past week, it means the world to us!

My friends at ChurchCrunch posted this on their blog today, and I couldn’t resist re-posting it. Something this brilliant coming from an organization that sells soda. How do they “get it” yet so many of us don’t? I needed this slap in the face today – as one who is very much immersed in social media. Sometimes we need to just put it all away, turn off the cell phone, the computer, the TV and just look around at the lives around us. I could keep going, but just watch the video. It’s a wake up call to all of us.

Have you ever wished you had the skill-set to do something but every time you make the attempt, it turns out to be nothing short of a steaming pile of poo? Yeah, that’s me right now. I desperately wish to be a creative, but for some reason it just doesn’t come naturally for me and that bugs me. I see some of the most amazing creations and designs from some of you guys and it blows me away. It makes me want to just sit down and design something. Anything. But due to my lack of knowledge and proper methodology, I just find myself staring at a blank artboard with nothing to show for my passion.

I’ve always been a hack. I admit to that. I’ve done some web design and a little graphic design over the years – nothing I’m really proud of. I get the opportunity to design a lot of email templates for our clients at work and have even done some UI’s (that’s “user interfaces” for my friends in Rio Linda). I can put bits and pieces together to make something work, but when it comes to designing something from scratch that’s super cool – that’s where my mind dumps me off at the nearest exit.

So this week I was tasked with designing a new UI. I’m excited about it, but today was just one of those days where nothing came to me and I couldn’t make anything work. I know the look I’m going for when I see it, but when I try to replicate it, it’s just blah. So hopefully something will come together next week. Maybe I just need to take my mind off of it for awhile. I’ve been doing quite a bit of design stuff lately, so maybe I’ve just reached my limit.

How about you guys? Has there ever been something you’ve wanted to do but it just doesn’t come natural when you try to do it?

Any other fail whale’s in the audience?

My bible reading the last few weeks has had me in the book of Kings. I love this book, it’s filled with amazing history and stories of how God worked in the lives of His people in a very difficult time in the decades following the life of Solomon. One theme that has stuck out to me throughout the book of II Kings are the countless generations of kings that allowed idols to exist in the land. You read over and over again how (insert king here) “failed to get rid of the local sex-and-religion shrines”. Some kings were far worse than others, leading the people into further idolatry, while some did well in the eyes of God. But regardless, the cycle of allowing specific idols to exist resulted in continued sin and debauchery and ultimately forsaking of God.

My first reaction to reading this pattern was: “Why didn’t one of those kings get it? Why did so many kings come and go and one of them not break the cycle, smash the idols and come clean with God? Why was this so difficult to understand?” You know where I’m going with this… no sooner had I thought those words than I felt God speaking to me: “What idols are you holding onto, Nathan? What do you have in your life that’s standing in the way of me?” Ouch. Touché.

The last few weeks have been a mixed bag of ups and downs for me, honestly. The social media hiatus has been good and has freed up a lot of time I typically spend online and it’s allowed me to think… a lot. I realize I have a lot of things standing in the way of God and it’s frustrating. Some are little and easy to uproot, other things are bigger and have a deeper root than I wish they had. The first step is to identify the idols – those things standing in the way of total freedom in Christ. The second is to annihilate them, and with His help, be like King Hezekiah – the king who finally broke the cycle:

^{1 -4} In the third year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Hezekiah son of Ahaz began his rule over Judah. He was twenty-five years old when he became king and he ruled for twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. In God’s opinion he was a good king; he kept to the standards of his ancestor David. He got rid of the local fertility shrines, smashed the phallic stone monuments, and cut down the sex-and-religion Asherah groves. As a final stroke he pulverized the ancient bronze serpent that Moses had made; at that time the Israelites had taken up the practice of sacrificing to it—they had even dignified it with a name, Nehushtan (The Old Serpent).

^{5 -6} Hezekiah put his whole trust in the God of Israel. There was no king quite like him, either before or after. He held fast to God—never loosened his grip—and obeyed to the letter everything God had commanded Moses. And God, for his part, held fast to him through all his adventures. ~ II Kings 18:1-6

What idols are you holding on to? What cycles do you need to break?

P.S. Still on a social media hiatus to some extent, just writing things down along the way as I feel led. Talk to you again soon!

A couple of cool verses from I Kings 19:

^{8 -9} Elijah got up, ate and drank his fill, and set out. Nourished by that meal, he walked forty days and nights, all the way to the mountain of God, to Horeb. When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep.

Then the word of God came to him: “So Elijah, what are you doing here?”

¹⁰ “I’ve been working my heart out for the God-of-the-Angel-Armies,” said Elijah. “The people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed the places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.”

^{11 -12} Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.”

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

¹³ When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there.

I love this passage of scripture – it’s been so long since I’ve read about Elijah. Here’s a guy that stood strong for God in the face of a nation that had rejected Him. These verses follow one of the most incredible scenes of God’s power, where He rained down fire from heaven to prove that He is the one, true God. Yet just a few verses later we find him running from Jezebel. You gotta wonder where his head was there and what was going through his mind.

I’m thankful I serve a God that still speaks with a still, small voice. Unfortunately, I don’t live in a world that stays silent long enough to hear it — well, that’s only partly true — it’s my fault, I’m the one who chooses to turn up the volume. The world is only as loud as I allow it to be and my world has started getting way too loud, hence the social media break the last few weeks – which is still ongoing, just wanted to stop in and get this down for future reference.

Some people have these grand agendas for what they’re going to do or accomplish during their ‘unplugged’ time. I really don’t have one other than taking the time to hear from God and what he has to say. I gotta admit, I’ve been cheating some because I get impatient and bored, but then it’s passages like this that reiterate why I’m doing what I’m doing and why it’s important.

I’m feeling a little like Elijah tonight… so speak God, I’m listening.

I’ve been going back and forth for several months now about whether or not to do this, but I think the time has come to give ‘social media’ a break. I just really need to quiet the noise, turn down the volume and re-evaluate my priorities, where I am in relation to where God wants me to be and where my family needs me to be.

You see, I’m the kind of person that gets easily distracted and sidetracked – especially when it involves something I’m passionate about and enjoy – things like social media and technology for example. These things regularly fill up large amounts of time in my day – which honestly, is the one thing that has kept me from pulling the plug before now. I’ve made so many new acquaintances and friends as a result of joining Twitter last Fall. You guys entertain me, while at the same time inspiring me to passionately pursue Christ. That’s mainly the reason I know it’s time to take a break.

I’m not kidding myself here, I know I’m not a well known blogger like Jon Acuff or Matthew Paul Turner. I kind of equate it to the old ‘tree falling in the woods’ analogy, except that I’m more like a leaf, lol. I am me and that’s all I’ll ever be and I know my ‘online presence’ won’t be missed. But that’s another reason for this break, I’ve been caring way too much about what other people have to say, than what Jesus is trying to say to me (Twitter). I also care too much about where I’ve been than where God wants me to be (Foursquare). And I care way too much about everyone else’s life, than the life God’s blessed me with and has called me to (Facebook).

I don’t know how long the break will last – maybe a few weeks, maybe a month or two – I don’t know. All I know is it’s time to quiet the noise and turn down the volume and start paying more attention to the physical world around me and to the God whose voice often gets drowned out in all the noise I surround myself with on a daily basis. Easier said than done I know, but it must be done. See you after the break.

I was talking with a friend today about a conversation he had with an atheist. To be honest, I don’t know many atheists (at least self-proclaimed atheists) and can only recall one memorable conversation I’ve had with one. I actually have a lot of respect for them, simply because they make no bones about the fact that they don’t believe in God. I’d rather people be honest, than claim to be ‘Christian’ and live in complete opposition to Christ’s example.

Faith is a tough thing to explain period, but especially to someone who doesn’t believe God exists. But as I was writing my friend about the conversation he had, I felt God asking me, “what do I mean to YOU?” An atheist can ask some pretty loaded questions — questions that aren’t easily answered or easily proved to their satisfaction, but what they can’t argue with is what God has done for me and how He’s worked in me and through me. So in the spirit of Easter and celebrating Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection, I wanted to take some time and respond to the question of what Jesus means to me…

1. Jesus means grace – as a young kid I was taught a catechism in school that I’ve never forgotten. It said “grace is God’s kindness to me when I deserve punishment”.  Although that definition’s true, I’ve grown to hate it because it’s so cliché. Grace means so much more to me than that. Jesus is God’s gift of grace to all of us who accept it. I don’t have to do anything to earn it – I couldn’t even if I tried. When I really stop and open my eyes, God’s grace is all around.

2. Jesus means forgiveness - I fail God on a daily basis. I commit the same sins repeatedly. Sometimes I go days without acknowledging his existence. But I don’t have a God that holds grudges or will disown me because of my faults. Because of Jesus, I have forgiveness.

3. Jesus means freedom – I’ve been reading in the Old Testament for several months now and have a new appreciation for Jesus because of it. Without Jesus, we would still be under the law. So many, while professing to know God, are still living under their own variations of the law to some degree, but because of Jesus I’m completely free!

4. Jesus means life – without Jesus there would be no point to anything we do – there would be no purpose or eternal consequences to life. But because of the life I have with him, I can have a relationship with him which changes everything. Because of him my life has purpose and meaning. God has a plan for my life – as the old Psalty song goes that’s currently streaming from Landon’s room!

5. Jesus means love – the word “love” is used so loosely anymore. I’m thankful the Greeks had different levels of the word love. As a kid, I was taught the song “Jesus Loves Me” but as I grew older I finally understood what kind of love that really meant. Jesus agape’s me, not just storge’s me. It’s unconditional love… there’s nothing I can do to separate myself from it.

6. Jesus means everything – without him I’d be nothing. That may sound cliché, but Jesus is the foundation everything else in my life is built on.

What does Jesus mean to you? How will you be celebrating Easter?