7 January 2010 View Comments

Patience is a Virtue I Don’t Possess

This is going to be a random post, but I feel like the majority of them are anyway, so here it goes. I hate anticipation. I hate things hanging over my head. I really hate waiting for a date on the calendar to arrive, especially when it involves something out of my comfort zone or out of my carefully scripted list of routine.

I had this crazy notion one night a few weeks back to sign up to run a 5K race on the 23rd. It may sound stupid, but this is something I never thought I’d be doing. Ever. A lot of my friends and people I follow online are running 10K’s, 1/2 marathons or full marathons and I feel stupid even mentioning it, but this blog is all about transparency–so I’m not going to lie–I’m nervous. I know I can do it, but the anticipation is killing me. If I could run it right now (even after running 4 miles at 6am this morning), I’d do it in a heartbeat, because I hate having things hanging over my head.

It’s even like this at work. I do IT/Development support, so I get tickets all day long about problems and issues that need to be addressed. I respond as quickly as I can to get the ticket off my desk. Sometimes I even reply too quickly when I should take more time to think through a proper response, but it’s just the way I am.

I’ve always been impatient and I know this is something I definitely need to address in my life. I just need to take one day at a time and slow it down. I need to stop looking at life too far in advance, anticipating certain things with dread and uncertainty. But I’m not quite sure how to do that.

Any suggestions? Anyone else out there like me, or am I just crazy?

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  • Ok.. honestly.. i think the main reason for this post was to brag that you were up running at 6am. Am I right.. or am I right?!?!?

    I am not sure if I am a man of patience or not.. Well I think I am.. I mean this is the first time in a long time that we aren't in crisis mode. When things with Gavin were going on time never seemed to drag or go slow..becasue it was always something. But now I have a feeling that will be changing.
    I too have signed up for a 5k in end of Feb. Right now I am not even thinking about the race. but probably the day before.. i will start to freak out... and consider not going.. But I wanna do it. I want to up my goals.. maybe do a 10k or a 10 mile run. and if i can swing it do a half in the fall...
    You are on the right track. Just keep doin it man.. I look forward to reading your post after you run your race.
  • Ok Adam, you got me, lol.

    Haha, you're thinking along the same lines I am, 10K in the spring and such... 10 miles & 1/2 Marathon? I don't know. I'm trying to slow it all down and take one day at a time. I've always been TERRIBLE at setting goals and not reaching them, so I'm starting off easy and taking it from there. That is admirable though man, I'll be cheering you on from my warm, cozy bed as you're up and at it at 4:15 in the morning! Yuck! ;)

    Thanks for the encouragement, as always!
  • Tom
    With respect to running, I think that's awesome. I don't think it's silly. I'll be honest here: last year, I ran my first half-marathon. I'd always enjoyed running casually on and off but I decided to set a goal. Yeah, it was hanging over my head for a few months, but I let that date in the future be the driving force behind what I was training to do.

    I even signed up to do another half-marathon back in October. Unfortunately, I came down with the flu. This year? I'm registered for none. I've decided to scale back and run a bunch of 5K's and 10K's. It not because I don't wanna run 13 miles again but it's because I've set new goals (and my workouts have changed): I'm looking for speed. I wanna get faster so I'm using shorter distances for it.

    The point I'm aiming for is that rather than let these dates bring a level of anticipation that makes you just wanna be done with it, try to let it motivate you or drive you in some capacity. Then, let it be something that causes you to set a *new* goal.

    This sounds cheesy as I read back over it. It sounded more meaningful in my head, but there you have it.

    Also, soak in that race, dude. When you're done, you're going to have a major sense of accomplishment. It feels awesome.
  • Thanks Tom, that doesn't sound cheesy at all and makes a lot of sense. I think it'll be much easier once I've got the first one under my belt so I can focus more on the goals than on the experience. Thanks for the advice and good luck on your races this year!
  • Thanks for the tips Carrie, I will have to try some of those. Yeah, sounds like your husband and me have a lot in common. What you've described about your husband is exactly the way I am. When it involves public speaking, that's when it's the worst. I've always had an enormous fear of public speaking I've never been able to conquer. Glad to know I'm not alone! Thanks for sharing.
  • Carrie
    Oh, and BTW. My last name is Duvall, too. Carrie Duvall! LOL. Your blog popped up in a Google search of my name. Small world. (TAYQs: From Maryland, then family back to merry ole England, back to 1600s. Yes, related to Claude Duvall, the infamous Highwayman who Robin Hood is modeled after. That's whay I am a banker? Hmmm.... Good luck!
  • Haha, wow Carrie, small world indeed! I have no idea where my family's from and honestly it'd scare me a little to know! My wife's name is Carrie too, crazy! Thanks for stopping in and saying hello!
  • Carrie
    My husband fills his head with dread, not knowing what to expect, similiar to what you've described. We'll talk about what he's churning over(almost ad nauseum - but don't tell himt hat :-), be it dinenr with a few other couples or a big meeting at work causing the stress. Most of his anxiety is centered around events or things where OTHER PEOPLE are involved. i.e. other's expecations and judgements. He's horrible to himself sometime. He's worn out before he even gets there. And, guess what. It's always OK. And he's so intelligent and talented, even if a glitch at work surfaces, he smooths it out in no time and it's usually nothing that could have been prevented anyway. No light shedding, I apologize. Actually glad to hear he's not alone in this.... Press on. I personally find BREATHING and trying to slow things down in my eyes, like slow mothion on TV. It's fun. Watching people and trying to mind meld them to slow down, watch the world with INTENTION. It helped me jump out of a plane. Oh, I had a parachute.
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